


Seeing Red

by AnonEhouse



Series: Battling Coronavirus (varied fandoms) [8]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: COVID-19, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Happy Ending, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), coronavirus testing, us president
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: Wanda isn't feeling well. But can she get a coronavirus test? You need more than magic, these days.
Series: Battling Coronavirus (varied fandoms) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676572
Comments: 9
Kudos: 59





	Seeing Red

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Wanda woke up feeling grumpy. That wasn't really unusual. She'd been brought back to life, but she had no one to live for. Sam kept telling her she would always have a place on the Avengers, but Barnes didn't like her, she could tell by the way he never really looked at her. And without Vision... what was the point?

Her back hurt, and she was still tired, but she needed to pee, so she got up. And the moment she did, her stomach rebelled.

She got to the toilet in time, but even after that, she still felt _off_. She got the thermometer from the medicine cabinet. Half a degree hotter than normal. Well, that wasn't much, was it?

It wasn't.... she couldn't be SICK. 

She thought about it for a moment. She never paid much attention to the American news, but she'd heard about the coronavirus. Sam had told her about social avoidance and hand-washing, and of course she listened to him.

So she was fine. Of course she was. Back when she first heard about it, the American president had said anyone who wanted it could get a test to find out if they had it. So she'd do that, and then she could stop worrying.

"What do you mean, I can't get the test?" Wanda asked the doctor who was supposed to be taking care of the Avengers these days. It had taken her a long time to get him to answer his phone, and when he did, he wasn't polite at all, talking as if he had better things to do.

"There aren't enough tests available. There is a drive-through testing site only testing people while they stay inside the vehicle."

"Sam will drive me," Wanda said.

"Please don't interrupt me, Miss Maximoff. Currently we are limiting the tests to people sixty-five years of age or older who are symptomatic, and first responders and medical workers. You don't qualify. You're not even a citizen..."

"I am AN AVENGER! You need ME!"

"Miss Maximoff, I'm sorry. I really wish I could give the test to everyone. We just don't have them." His voice gentled. "You're young and strong, even if you do get it, you'll probably be fine."

And then he disconnected.

Wanda fumed, literally, in a pink haze of frustration. The PRESIDENT had SAID she could get it! She decided to go right to the top. Obviously there was a mistake somewhere.

It took a while to get to Washington, D.C. Wanda had to ... well... it worked, and so what if she was using her powers. It was an emergency! The White House wasn't all that impressive. She levitated over the barricades and fences and told all the guards that they didn't see anything unusual.

She found the Oval Office. The President was sitting at his desk, typing something. She looked over his shoulder. Twitter. Nothing that anyone would notice if he didn't finish it. She put her hands to either side of his head. 

"I have called this special live press conference to make some very, very important announcements! I have decided that the budget is all wrong, way wrong. Too much money is targeted for the wall bordering Mexico. I mean, I know right now, Mexico is probably really happy that they're not shaking hands with us, but is it doing America any good? No? I don't THINK SO. So I'm going to ask Congress to put that money back where it had been originally budgeted. Especially, you know, I don't remember, did I take it from FEMA and some health stuff? Maybe. ANY WAY, we're going to make AMERICA GREAT.

"And as you know, the BUCK stops HERE!" the President pointed at his chest. "So as an example to all the other billionaires, I am donating the ENTIRETY of my personal fortune, all three billion plus, to give all AMERICANS UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE. All my properties will be put at the disposal of the local governments. Mar A Lago in particular will be throwing open its doors to the homeless in South Florida. The INS will be directed to give all possible aid and comfort to the internees before releasing them! Immigrants, whether documented or not, are PEOPLE and deserve to be treated with respect and human dignity! And that will be all."

The reporters stared in silence as the President turned and left the podium.

"WHAT do you MEAN, I still can't get a coronavirus test!" Wanda snapped at the Avengers doctor. "The PRESIDENT said you should, and he's giving all that money!"

The doctor said, "Money doesn't make tests magically appear. It will help, absolutely. If it had been done a few months ago, I'd be able to give it to everyone, but right now... I can't. I'm sorry. Really. If you aren't feeling well, you can just... get some over the counter medication. Even if you have it, chances are that you'll get over it just fine."

Wanda stormed into the nearest drugstore. "What do you have for coronavirus? Antibiotics?"

The clerk leaned away from her, pointing at the line painted on the floor six feet away from the counter. "Stay behind the line. Antibiotics are ineffective against a virus. All you can do are treat the symptoms," she said, wearily, as someone who'd had to spell it out many times. 

"I'm a half a degree hotter than normal! And I woke up sick to my stomach! And my lower back aches! And I'm TIRED. AND I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE."

The drugstore didn't have many people in it, and the few who were there backed up. One older woman said, "It sounds like you're pregnant, dear, not sick."

Wanda turned to glare at the woman. "I can't be. My boyfriend... he couldn't give me a child."

The clerk said, "Low sperm count doesn't mean no sperm count." She picked up a pregnancy test kit and slid it across the counter. "Please, Miss Maximoff, take this. Free. Just... take it."

"EVERYONE HATES ME," Wanda said.

No one made a sound. 

Wanda snatched up the test kit and ran out of the drugstore to have a good cry. Then she went home and figured, well, at least I got _a_ test, even if it's not the one I wanted. 

And she took it.

And looked down at the two pink lines. She frowned. "Does that mean I'm going to have twins? Wait... TWINS."

**Author's Note:**

> Who knows how much he actually has? It's certainly not enough to fund universal health care.  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wealth_of_Donald_Trump
> 
> https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/early-symptoms-timeline
> 
> Wanda in the comics had kids. Sort of? I think she had twin boys, but they were part of someone else's magic, and when he took back the magic, poof no kids. BUT THEN, somehow the children were reincarnated as Wiccan and Speed? I don't know, I didn't read it, and it's confusing, but MAYBE.


End file.
